Season’s Greetings

Dear Friends … I can’t believe that it’s time for our annual Christmas letter! How time flies! As you know from last year’s letter, son Joe was elected to the state legislature, where he has been leading the fight against the gay agenda. If you have been reading…

Dear Friends … I can’t believe that it’s time for our annual Christmas letter! How time flies!

As you know from last year’s letter, son Joe was elected to the state legislature, where he has been leading the fight against the gay agenda. If you have been reading newspapers, I’m sure you have seen that Hawaii might actually allow those people to marry! I can’t think of any greater threat to family values than to allow homosexual form legally recognized families–they would get to file their taxes jointly, just like Daddy and I do, and have health insurance at work, and inherit from their partners (even social security benefits, Joe says. Can you imagine?) In a recent hearing, after Joe had pointed out how promiscuous homosexuals are, one of them even had the nerve to say that we couldn’t have it both ways: we couldn’t refuse to recognize committed relationships then blame people for failing to form them. It’s just another indication of how immoral Americans have become. We are so proud that Joe is fighting the good fight.

Since our last letter, daughter Mary has graduated and is teaching fourth grade. She really enjoying it, although she was offended when a couple of parents came to complain about the class play. Can you imagine complaining about a nativity play? Mary had done an adorable job with the manger, too. Of course, it wasn’t real Americans who complained–it was a couple of Jews and a Muslim. On the other hand, Mary was successful in keeping Halloween from being celebrated in her school this year. It is really terrible how the Satanists and secular humanists want to impose their ways on cap schoolchildren. But our Mary put an end to that.

Not much else is new. I continue to work with our neighborhood association on zoning issues. There was a move this year to allow houses under 3000 square feet in the new subdivision that is practically next door. I don’t have to tell you what kinds of people might have moved into houses like that! And I am still on the committee that works with the police to be sure that they stop people who clearly don’t belong in this neighborhood. They are easy enough to spot, if you know what I mean.

Daddy is well — we will celebrate our thirtieth anniversary this year. Not like some families I can think of. He is devoting a lot of time to a new group called "Spend Less for Justice." They are lobbying to cut out all these silly death penalty appeals. As Daddy says, so you execute a couple of innocent people. So what? The taxpayers absolutely cannot keep paying these ridiculous sums just to be sure we always have the right one. Besides, all those people are guilty of something, even if it is something else.

I’ll sign off now, but not before wishing you the spirit of the Christmas season.