When You Turn Over a Rock….

You never know what will slither out when you turn over a rock. This time, I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry….

There is a website called “Christwire: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.” A friend sent it and at first, I thought it was a more realistic version of Betty Bowers: America’s Best Christian; then I decided it was for real. Further checking was needed to convince me that it really was intended to be satirical.

This gem is titled “14 Outrageous Secrets a Homosexual Will Not Tell You,” and it begins with a dark introduction about corrupt legislators and “activist” judges. It then lets its readers into the details of the satanic “homosexual world.” (You can see why I thought it was real; I’ve seen very similar material from self-professed Christian sources.)

For example, did you know that gay men bleach their anuses? That the primary reason gay men join gyms is for mutual masturbation? That homosexual activity in the animal kingdom is not, as reported, a natural occurrence, but has been deliberately introduced into the animal population by gay trainers? That gay bars are just like Muslim terror cells?That Glee is a sinister plot to recruit children into “the homosexual lifestyle”?

These fevered imaginings sound very much like the bizarre fantasies conjured up by terrified–or titallated– good “Christians” we’ve all encountered.

There’s evidently something about the human psyche that needs to attribute horrific practices to people who are in some way different, that demands the utter dehumanizing of those who are in some way “other.”  Mere disapproval is presumably insufficient.

It’s the long history of that phenomenon that made this particular takeoff so believable.

Christians used to accuse Jews of killing Christian children and using their blood to make matzohs. Southerners used to swap stories of “endowed” black men “having their way” with the delicate flowers of Southern femininity. More recently, right-wing zealots mutter about the “terrorist cells” disguised as Mosques. These are real accusations–not satirical ones.

Here in Indiana, as the effort to place a ban on same-sex marriage in the Indiana Constitution heats up, I’m afraid we can expect genuine–and outrageous–efforts to paint our GLBT friends and neighbors as alien and forbidding. Because after all, why would they want to get married if they weren’t plotting the destruction of Western Civilization As We’ve Known It?

They couldn’t possibly just want to enter into socially-sanctioned relationships with someone they love, buy a house and file joint tax returns.

Hate must come from a very twisted place; it encourages beliefs that are so outlandish, so uncomfortably close to satire, that it can be extremely difficult to tell which is which.

It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if Eric Miller and Micah Clark started citing Christwire’s “research.”


  1. You are right. The real things that extreme conservatives say are so outlandish that I have had trouble telling satire such as The Onion from real stories sometimes.

  2. When I first saw the posting, I too was a bit uncertain as to its “authenticity”….and like you came to the conclusion that it is satire.

    And yes, one can fully expect Micah Clark of the American Family Association and Eric Miller of Advance America to quote freely from the piece in what they send out to their “flocks” (with the usual appeals to make tax-deductible (an issue in itself) contributions. [Curt Smith’s Indiana Family Institute seems a bit more restrained these days, but that may not last very long.]

    So be it……..these rantings are Exhibit A on the issue as to whether or not, as the proponents of HJR-6 and like measures keep claiming, being against marriage equality is rooted in antigay animus or homophobia. More and more courts looking at that issue have come to the conclusion that it’s that kind of rant against an unpopular minority that makes such measures violate the Equal Protection Clause.

    They just can’t help themselves but more power to them in that regard.

  3. Morgan; I doubted the claim that anal bleaching is true so went to Google and found a list of sites for information. I read 2-3 but opted to quote “all you want to know about anal bleaching” or something close to that title. I copied and pasted a section below; the article did not specify that only gays use this procedure. It did warn against frequent direct exposure to sunlight which gives “mooning” an entirely new meaning. We live and learn, don’t we.

    “Anal bleaching (or anal lightening) is the process of bleaching the darker pigmentation (or melasma)on or around the anus, leaving a more even skin tone on lighter skin types.

    The procedure, which entails the application of a cream to the anus, is stickily cosmetic. Anal bleaching is banned in some countries, namely France and the UK, due to the cream’s active ingredients, namely hydroquinone, a long suspected carcinogen. Mercury and other chemicals are also be used as active skin bleaching agents.”

  4. As to any uncertainty concerning whether or not “Christwire” itself is satire or the real stuff, just Google on “Christwire satire” and you should see an almost universal description of it and its authors as being in the satire category. It may well be that certain items discussed are factual, but the concept of the site is to parody how the religious right picks and chooses and takes things out of context to present a distorted (and more often than not hateful) description of people it think less than human.

  5. I just ask these so called Christians “WWJD” when they go off on their tirades. “What Would Jesus Do?”

    As a former Christian, I would say Jesus said “Love One Another” and apply the Golden Rule. I don’t think Jesus was obsessed with what other people do in the privacy of their own homes and bedrooms. It baffles me why they want to know what goes on in people’s bedrooms, bathrooms and doctor offices. It really is a sickness just like Krugman wrote about yesterday.

    And unfortunately, the liberals in this country have failed miserably to get their message told. The Karl Rove faction is the loudest and unfortunately, the media has given them the microphone. The liberals need to speak up and drown out this crazyness.

  6. Health comment: When Fade Out(R) and other similar products came onto the market, I ordered a jar of the “active fade cream” to deal with aging spots on my hands, arms, and face. Too much sun from my days as a Water Safety Instructor and too many years on the calendar had done their damage. I used a portion of the fade cream and it did lighten those unattractive “liver spots” until the day that I learned of the carcinogenics contained in the product. I stopped using the product immediately. The old jar I used to get information to write this comment has an expiration date of 01/09. I hung onto the jar to await further information and/or lawsuits that never materialized.

    One would hope that a jar of Fade Out(R) might be under that rock. We could then ‘fade out’ the likes of Betty Bowers, Eric Miller, and Micah Clark. We in Tennessee will need a giant economy-size jar of the stuff to handle those types of wingnuts.

  7. I think that Eric Miller and Micah Clark need to visit Mrs. Betty Bowers website and watch the videos. After all she is “America’s Best Christian”.

    My daughter told me about this site, trying to”push my buttons”, and I agree with Betty, for the most part.

    Ronald Rodgers

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