You Do Know Those Things Never Happened, Right?

It’s the time of year for “summing up,” so in that spirit, I thought I’d share an amusing (albeit also depressing) roundup  from Right Wing Watch, listing some of the crazy predictions from various rightwing cranks that—surprise!—failed to materialize during 2015.

You’d think the fact that none of these things happened would cause at least a few of these characters to reign in the crazy, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. They are too far gone.

Some of the predictions were doozies.

Several Religious Right pundits jumped on a nonsensical and convoluted tale about how blood moons and the Shemitah, a biblical day of debt relief, would lead to some sort of disaster in America on September 13.

Apparently, prophecies about ancient Israel are also applicable to the U.S. because–wait for it—the Founders made a covenant with God. (An assertion that would undoubtedly have surprised the Deists among them.) The catastrophe most frequently predicted was a 30% or greater decline in the Dow Jones.  Unaccountably, the stock market actually gained around that time.

There was a rash of dark warnings about God’s vengeance in the wake of the Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage (and adding insult to injury, the White House’s LGBT Pride Month celebration with rainbow lights). Prominent among them was the prediction that Hurricane Joaquin would strike Washington, D.C. and New York. (It didn’t hit either city). Other “prophets” predicted violence in the streets. (Well, there was, but it was totally unconnected to same-sex marriage.) The WorldNutDaily predicted that “millions” of Americans would emigrate.

Pat Robertson warned of financial calamities as a sign of God’s judgment for the Supreme Court marriage equality ruling and Massachusetts-based pastor Scott Lively said the Antichrist could emerge around September 23.

(Gee–I thought Obama was supposed to be the anti-Christ…but he “emerged” way before then….)

My personal favorite was the Jade Helm conspiracy. Jade Helm was the name given to a routine military exercise scheduled to take place in Texas; Texas being the epicenter of insanity these days, Republican politicians fed fears of a “federal invasion” of Texas. One poll found that one in three Republicans, including half of Tea Party supporters, agreed that “the government is trying to take over Texas.”

Not to burst your bubble, fellas, but the federal government already HAS Texas. (Although I personally would favor giving the Lone Star State back to Mexico, if Mexico would take it….)

Ever since President Obama won the 2008 election, right-wing activists have claimed that he is on the verge of creating a private army akin to Hitler’s Brownshirts.

With 2015 coming to a close, it looks like Obama has just one year left to create such a force, but conservative talk show host Michael Savage has a pretty good idea of what Obama has in mind. Savage, who believes that Obama is bent on committing anti-white genocide and rounding up conservatives, has alleged that the president intends to create a personal force composing of Syrian refugees, Black Lives Matter demonstrators and members of the Crips and the Bloods, whom he thinks will be armed and deputized by Obama.

There’s a lot more.

We can probably explain all the unhinged hysteria by recognizing that there are people in our country who reject modernity, who are threatened by the very existence of gay people and many other “others”, and who really, really, really resent having a black President.

They’re also obviously bat-shit crazy, and I’d feel sorry for them if most of them weren’t armed.


  1. Prof Says:
    “They’re also obviously bat-shit crazy, and I’d feel sorry for them if most of them weren’t armed.”

  2. Here are my thoughts on these issues (I’m sure you knew I would have some); notice the predictions of humanity and the world devolving and headed for self-destruction all come from the male of the species. This is because they prefer creationism rather than evolution as our beginning due to that one fact that woman was created from man’s rib – as Archie Bunker pointed out – a cheaper cut. It is easier to believe our end is preordained due to their forecast calamities than to try to repair the damage.

    Regarding evolution; the fertilized egg begins as a female, unless and until the male chromosome forms. In some parts of the world; female frogs, when there is a lack of males in the area, evolve into males to resolve the problem. The male sea horse carries the eggs to maturity and gives birth; this is an issue deserving of immediate research. The female praying mantis, after being satisfactorily serviced by the male, rips his head off and eats it. So; why are the vast majority of world leaders men?

    Women, looking at the same situations and conditions the above mentioned males reported on, would never reach such dire conclusions or opened their mouths to predict such doom and gloom. We find solutions to many problems before they can become problems and as for the superiority of men I must return to my favorite Dillys Lainge quote, “Women receive the insults of men with tolerance, having been bitten in the nipple by their toothless gums.”

    And yes; most of us do know none of these things actually happened!

  3. “The WorldNutDaily predicted that “millions” of Americans would emigrate.”

    – Now that is a prediction that I wish would have come true! Oh well, I can keep hoping.

    Those right wing cranks know exactly what they are doing. It keeps them in the spotlight and brings in a constant flood of cash. I have heard that their predictions typically include a request for monetary donations to help them fight off the awful things before they can actually happen.

  4. That army of brown shirts? It’s happening…but they’re actually wearing red trucker caps. They say something about “making America great again”….

  5. JoAnn,

    Sadly, you are only partially right. These dire “predictions” didn’t all come from males, and all creationist, science deniers, are not male. I point you to Bachmann, Palin, Coulter, and each and every one of the Blonde, Bimbo Casters on Faux Snooze.

  6. It’s always fun to file those predictions and take them out later. I’ve done that with horoscopes and those dire predictions that people make in January. Lots of people love to read the predictions, but few are interested in how they actually turned out. Doesn’t seem to be much interest in knowing how you have been fooled into being afraid.

  7. These do seem to incredible but these do seem like people on the extreme. To me the scarier items are what the main candidates and main media has said. The main one that comes to mind right now was the need to quarantine healthcare workers coming back from Africa and not allowing flights from Africa. Neither happened and a major outbreak did not happen. But on almost every topic, there seemed to be a fear factor that never happens.

  8. Are there more crazy people in the US now, or is it just social media that makes it seem that way?


    Listen to this one, it’s from the Southern Poverty Law Center’s “Intelligence Report,” Winter 2015:

    “As the country becomes more and more diverse, the neo-Confederate League of the South (LOS) has in recent years adopted increasingly racist, anti-Semitic and violent rhetoric.

    In May, its president, Michael Hill, who sports a white beard to give him the look of a Confederate Army officer, wrote an article for the LOS website entitled, “A few notes on an American race war.”

    “Negroes are more impulsive than whites,” Hill wrote. “Tenacity and organizations are not the negroes [sic] strong suits. If [a race war] could be won by ferocity alone, he might have a chance. But like the adrenaline rush that sparks it, ferocity is short lived. And it can be countered by cool discipline, an historic white trait, and all that stems from it.”

    My father was a professional basketball player in 30’s. In a poll run by the local newspaper, The Jacksonville Journal, many years ago, he was voted the best basketball guard of the 30’s. I was quicker than he was. To be honest, I was the quickest “white man” in town. That’s why I’ve always gravitated toward the African-American community. I needed the competition. That’s also why I was able to form the first integrated sports management firm in 1980 with my African-American friends.

    Does anyone in the right mind believe that African-Americans lack “tenacity and organization.”
    All you have to do is watch an NFL or an NBA game to see who’s going to prevail in an all out “American race war.”

    You’re right Sheila: “They’re bat shit crazy and they are armed.”

    However, in my mind, the “more than bat-shit crazies” are the so-called progressives who think only talking and writing and nothing else is going to extricate our country from this political epidemic.

    We’re on our way in the U.S. from DEMOCRACIDE to FUTURCIDE. And nothing in between.

  10. Sorry JoAnn, the replacement of a X chromosome with a Y is not the cause of culture. Females are equally though differently enculturated due to the different environments that they are adapted to. Things would be different if it wasn’t for reproduction assignments.

    It’s another aspect of culture that fuels modern stupidity.

    It used to be that what one needed to know came through our five senses into our brains. That’s why natured wired us with only those inputs. As humans discovered the advantages of specialization though the system that we were born with became inadequate and education was invented to spread knowledge from experts to the rest of us.

    Then mass media came along capped by the Internet and most importantly Google – or pretend expertise – the ability to find information beyond ones ability to vet it.

    What a mess.

    In the old days if you did something stupid you where given a reminder (cut, bone fracture, hunger, death, etc) against future occurrences.

    Now when people do stupid things they get rewarded with inclusion into a tribe.

    Tribes are necessary employment for chiefs and shamans so the old necessary for survival tribes have been replaced with necessary for wealth redistribution tribes.

    Is it possible for civilization to exists despite modern technology? We simply don’t know. If it is possible education is obviously the key.

  11. A brief look back at history tells us humans have always sought answers to the vagaries of fate. There were angry gods and goddesses, fantastic creatures that plagued humans and heroes that would battle these monsters. There were oracles, and holy men who went off and lived in the wilderness. There were also the apocalyptic stories of Armageddon, Ragnarök, etc.

    The Age of Reason dispelled these supernatural causes and effects. Some decided to cling to superstitions. Not only have they held tight to superstitions, they developed Anti-Knowledge. The internet web sites, FOX News, and various religious figures all promote this Anti-Knowledge. The TV Evangelists have just taken a page out of the ancient oracles, I ‘ll tell you the future you give me some money. Pat Robertson does not live the life of the poor carpenter Jesus who he regularly invokes.

  12. girl cousin; it wasn’t my granddaughter having surgery, she was assisting in another pediatric heart surgery and she hasn’t said how the child is. Thanks so much for remembering and asking. The transplant she assisted in earlier this year she didn’t report on for three months; then posted a picture on Facebook.

  13. @Pete

    “Then mass media came along capped by the Internet and most importantly Google-or pretend expertise-the ability to find information beyond ones ability to vet it.”

    Yesterday, we were talking about this same problem at my friend’s bookstore.

    According to Webster’s: vet (vet) vt. to evaluate thoroughly or expertly

    At least before the internet, there was at least an opportunity to VET the information we received from books. Now the information we receive via the internet, in most cases, is an amalgamation of sources which are impossible to verify. Although the information is useful in the VIRTUAL world or in a discussion group, it’s not reliable enough to act in the PHYSICAL.

    That’s one good reason why the Far Right extremism is not contained. There is no real opposition in the physical world other than an “Intelligence Report” from the SPLC, whose information is not deep enough to make any real difference. To make matters worse, the Republican Congress has continued to prevent governmental agencies from filling in the gap.

  14. Marv, one of my sources of cultural insight is Facebook. My wife and I share an account. Over the years it’s matured into quite a mishmash of friends, family, causes, published science, humor, curiosities, travel pictures and propaganda thrust at me by those who disagree or agree with any of my positions. Very useful.

    I invest some time in vetting at least some of the claims that interest me. I find that probably more than half are blatant propaganda that a hamster could spot at 20 paces. On the other hand some take a fair amount of work to track down.

    I’m pretty sure that I have no magic powers so I think that most people could do at least as well as I can but there’s a couple of secret ingredients.

    Time. Curiosity. Skepticism. Patience. Open mindedness.

    Experts write books. Anybody can publish on the Internet. That’s the good and bad of it.

  15. It is hypocritically ingenuous to selectively highlight these viewpoints of stupidity as being typical of the right wing, without noting that these viewpoints are being taken from the more stupid, extremist part of that group. The same thing could be done by taking some of the more dire, immediate warnings about global warming or the consequences of GMO modified food from the left side, there are real problems and making up issues to alarm the voters; making alarmist claims needlessly leads to ridicule and wastes even more effort on derision rather than actually addressing a real problem.

    The main thing that our republican and democrat politician have in common is their shared belief in that our money is better off being spent by someone else, on the republican side by their political cronies, on the democrat side by the government. Confiscating money through taxes for a “better” ends up being a broken system, I look at the current presidential candidates and shudder at the next four years.

    Throwing insults at the other party contributes to the overall dysfunction of our political system, and does little to actually address the specific problems.

  16. IndyRob, all of our money is spent by someone else. Our money goes to either government in exchange for their goods and services or businesses in exchange for their goods and services. From there it goes to pay for goods and services they need and salaries, energy, raw materials, production means, loan repayment, means of production, transportation, R&D, administration, buying customers (marketing and advertising) and political favors (lobbying) and in the case of businesses, paying off investors and saving for growth.

    We, through our voting, elect representatives to make the call between capitalist and socialist markets and national priorities which is more say than we have over businesses who have one mission only, make more money regardless of the cost to others.

    Also, what consequences that we are facing are more dire than those from climate change?

  17. Pete,

    I can not argue that all money ultimately is always given to someone else. The point I was making is that we should have a choice, instead of having money we have earned, taken away by politicians to be spent as they see fit.

    And if I choose to give money to a company for tennis shoes or to a charity that builds water supplies in third world countries, that is also my business.

    I object a lot, to my county option tax being used to finance the Irsays and the Simon’s businesses down town, the amount of tax dollars given to the Simons amounts to about $15 per seat per game for each Pacer fan. Each fan would have to spend over $200 per game in order for the state/city to recoup the tax subsidy given to the Simons.

    This is not a problem that is due to the republicans or the democrats, it is due to politicians getting their hands on this money and saying that this spending that benefits mostly the Simons and Irsays benefits the city residents as a group.

  18. IndyRob. We are very fortunate to live in a democracy, the government type that maximizes freedom.

    We are as unburdened as anyone in the history of the planet both with things that we need and things that we want. Also with the ultimate benefit of the governed determining who governs.

    What else are we entitled to?

    My answer to my question is pretty simple. We’re entitled to the truth and we get it but it’s heavily diluted and compromised with propaganda from business and politics selling fear for fun and profit. So despite having everything many people live in abject fear of manufactured bogiemen.

  19. It used to be that we were exposed to less propaganda both in sheer volume as well as veracity. One reason is that books are a terribly expensive way to propagate knowledge. So we had gatekeepers called publishers who assured that anything that got published at least got over the profitability hurdle. Not the best standard but at least a standard.

    Now anybody can publish anything that they want on the Internet. In other words, each of us are our own gatekeeper and some of us don’t have the necessary skills or even interest in doing a good job at it.

  20. I’m a Republican IndyRob and would guess that you are too. While I haven’t changed that, at least not yet, I believe that conservatism is too high a price to pay for my continued allegiance.

    For one reason I have trouble finding any examples in religion, business, or government where conservatism has improved anything but lots where it has made things worse. For another it tends towards -ocracies that diminish the freedom of democracies. For a third it undervalues natural resources by a lot which just runs up the cost and eventual viability of civilization.

    So I guess that I am for now a liberal Republican the rarest of species.

    In fact I am hoping for a resounding defeat of the modern GOP next year so that the Phoenix of traditional Republicanism can rise from the ashes.

  21. I too was a little taken back that their was a blood moon theory and had to explain that star / planetary movement was still a natural occurrence with no effect gained upon the matters of this world. Prophecies or predictions about politicians and their need for control will always be a problem no matter what their political social stance is.
    Unfortunately most people don’t understand that taxes are a way of controlling people. From Obamacare to the carbon tax people are now under more control of those who want to redistribute wealth.
    There are plenty of authors that aren’t bat shit crazy that give ample explanation of what the constitution tries to do for us to keep the federal government from growing and gaining greater control of our lives. Resources like Hillesdale college give free courses to those who want to know what are constitution is for and how it is to maintain our freedoms while people who with good intentions vote our freedoms away.
    Not many people understand that the theory of climate change is a computer model of what the future holds for our earth. Is this theory or model correct. Is the U.S. Doing its best and can we get China on board. Their cities are a disaster with pollution while traffic jams can be for days? Newer Semis are now driven down US highways that have less effect of a burger being fried for every 70 miles. How did CO2 that plants use to breath, not CO which is poisonous become controlled by the Fed without Congresses okay which is clearly outlined in the constitution.
    What is really crazy is that our children have less freedom and all we can do is point out that their are nut cases in this world. Yes they are entertaining but not much beyond that to me.

  22. You left out the part where Manhattan was supposed to be under water by now….no wait, wrong party.

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