Laughing So We Won’t Cry….

Credit where credit is due… one thing Trump has been truly– even magnificently– good for  is satire and snark.

It isn’t only the late-night comedians, although they have dominated. Editorial comics have been unrelenting. Then there are Andy Borowitz’ headlines…Trump Plans to Destroy Coronavirus with an Incredibly Mean Tweet..Mexico Tightens Border After Trump Pardons White-Collar Criminals…Cruise Ship Passengers Demand to be Housed at Mar-a-Lago….

Think too about Randy Rainbow, whose most recent song parody is “Any Dem Will Do,” (Play it over and over if your favorite candidate isn’t the nominee), but who has issued dozens–maybe hundreds–of clever and devastating take-offs of popular songs, aimed directly at the buffoon pretending to be President.

Even the legacy press has gotten into the game; Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank has been turning out some of the best snark anywhere. I particularly loved his column about “Dr. Trump.”

Do you have a nagging medical concern? A rash that won’t go away? Unexplained hearing loss? Are you currently bleeding out from a severed femoral artery?

Well, fret no more. America now has a leading medical expert — some say the best — who will dispense diagnoses and prognoses to all — for free! This bold new telemedicine initiative, “Ask Dr. Trump,” will be offered on an unpredictable but highly frequent basis to all Americans (whether they like it or not).

Granted, Trump has given him an enormous amount of material to work with.

Dr. Donald J. Trump, of course, is the pioneering scientist who first determined that climate change is a hoax and, more recently, discovered that windmills cause cancer. In between, he proved that forest fires could be contained by “raking”and identified a previously unrecognized tropical cyclone pattern targeting Alabama.

Dr. Trump acquired what he calls “a natural instinct for science” not through formal education but because “my uncle was a great professor at MIT for many years.” Sadly, the elder Trump didn’t live to see his nephew’s greatest discoveries in the medical field: The flu shot is basically “injecting bad stuff into your body” and exercise can shorten your life. Dr. Trump used his instinctive grasp of medicine to become “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency” with an innate life expectancy of 200 years.

Milbank went on to incorporate recent quotations from our idiot-in-chief, whose “pathbreaking epidemiology” has allowed him to dispute the World Health Organization’s report that 3.4 percent of people with reported cases have died. Trump says that’s a “false number.”

Trump’s research, based extensively on “my hunch,” puts the true figure at “way under 1 percent.”

The entire column is worth reading. I also highly recommend the “oeuvre” of Randy Rainbow for those mornings when we get up, have coffee, listen to the news and contemplate suicide.

Laughing is better than crying…

I personally liked the advice of a young Facebook friend who says that–should he be diagnosed with the Coronavirus–he will spend the three-week quarantine period traveling to MAGA rallies….

Speaking of the Coronavirus, there may be one positive to emerge from the administration’s mismanagement of the pandemic.  It is demonstrating the massive incompetence of the administration and the increasingly demented behavior of the President to millions of voters who haven’t been laughing at the late-night jokes or reading the Washington Post. Recent polling finds large numbers of people saying the mismanagement makes them less likely to vote for Trump.

“By a 20-point margin, voters say his administration’s handling of the virus makes them less likely to vote for him this fall,” Public Policy Polling reported. “Independents say they’re less likely to vote for Trump by 32 points because of how he’s dealt with this issue.”

The day when the “Doctor” is out can’t come soon enough….

28 Comments

  1. His late afternoon press conference yesterday was a TV Special; co-starring Pence, his personal medical spokesperson and members of the 1% all crowded (a no-no to prevent spreading the coronavirus) into a small camera-range area. Dr. Fuchi “walked back” his previous statements against Trump’s inaction to get back on his good side and one of the 1% even “bumped elbows” with the Prez. That was the only thing laughable about the show. He lied, misspoke and obfuscated vital information and had the co-stars back him up. Nothing has changed regarding the corornavirus situation in this country from that black comedy yesterday but Trump did accomplish his primary goal for the appearance…he “saved” the stock market in the last 30 minutes of another Friday in the Trump soap opera presidency.

    FOLLOW THE BIG MONEY!!!

  2. I see three alternatives coming:

    1.) The Republicans basically – “incapacitate” Trump – through either getting rid of him or making him powerless – end result – likely Democratic Party landslide at least defeating Trump in November,

    2.) Republican Party sticking with Trump – virtually 100% – end result – see 1.) above,

    3.) Actions by the Trump Administration – either prior to the November election – related to either 1.) or 2.) above – or after the election which has been lost – of essentially – “an emergency” – where there is an attempt to keep Trump in office – indefinitely. This could be through – right-wing militia type actions, commandeering the military or similar.

    #3 – scares me – don’t know its likelihood, but I think I would be stupid to say “it can’t happen”

  3. A LTE in yesterday’s Minneapolis Star Tribune:

    Coronavirus

    We have the wrong leader for this I’m thinkin’ President Donald Trump right now wishes that the Senate had removed him from office after being impeached by the House. That way he could be sitting on the sidelines tweeting his little cold heart out that he, and only he, could have saved America from the coronavirus (“ ‘Things will get worse,’ ” front page, March 12). Now he is stuck with the reality that viruses can’t be bullied, and Americans know what real leadership looks, sounds and behaves like. I would expect his next move is to blame the Senate for the pandemic, as they didn’t fulfill their constitutional duty to remove him. That’s OK, Donny, we’ll remove you this fall.

    KEITH HARROWER, White Bear Lake,MN

  4. Another issue to question whether to laugh, cry or just give up trying to to survive this Trump era. I have received, filled out and put out for mail pickup my 2020 White Nationalist Census form. No other way to describe it; how will any of the 2020 Census results help decided where those billions of dollars in federal funds (if we have that much remaining) for schools, roads and other public services. How will the information help any community prepare to meet transportation and emergency readiness needs…such as the coronavirus Pandemic we are now living? How will the information determine the number of seats each state has in the House of Representatives or political representation at all levels of government?

    It is racist plain and simple; makes it easy for Trump to understand the numbers.

  5. Good luck on militias “commandeering the military”. All top level officers (Generals and Admirals) are well trained in Constitutional law and the Geneva Conventions. If Trump tries to stay in office after being voted out, I’m confident they will make sure there is no coup and the new president is properly installed, regardless of Trump shenanigans.

  6. Carol – not sure I agree if…the election is close…if…there is clear evidence of election interference (easily provided by Vlad)…

  7. Well, George, your 3rd theory is increasing in probability by the day because there is already a precedent for it – in the UK, they have postponed local elections because of the virus.

    In the USA, most poll workers are the elderly who are vulnerable to COVID-19, so having masses of people moving in and out of polling sites would go against current precautionary measures.

    In other words, the stage is being set for possible cancellations of the remaining primaries and the general election in November.

    Due to the ineptitude of Tangerinus Uranus and his handling of the virus, the USA is woefully lagging in testing and ventilators to treat those inflicted. I suspect the lack of testing was a ploy by Pence and Seema since it is successfully used in Indiana, and has been, for decades. We won’t monitor the quality of air; therefore, we don’t have the data to prove it’s contaminated.

    Pence spent $500,000, so Big Data could crunch the variables to determine why Indiana had such a high rate of infant mortality. A pediatrician in Southern Indiana went to the Statehouse to testify that it was due to the mercury from all the coal-burning plants in Indiana. Her microphone was turned off.

    I see the same mentality coming from the Trump administration. It’s what I call “industry-science” to allow for plausible deniability.

    Americans are getting quite an education on Neoliberalism and global capitalism if they could just see through the propaganda.

    In Sheila’s example, the comedians are being truth-tellers but covering it up with satire. Randy Rainbow has been great, and so have the late-night comedians. Think of how advanced George Carlin’s political/economic/social analysis was wrapped inside of punchlines.

    Another great comedian peddling the truth is Lee Camp, but his Redacted Tonight, was blacklisted because his revelations hit too close to home for IC/Surveillance State. They made him register as a Russian agent because he worked for RT. Google began throttling his website and YouTube station.

    Just like with Trump, the coronavirus is teaching us valuable lessons if we just look through the pain and misery of its surface.

  8. If right-wing militia try to keep Trump in office, or Trump tries to by ‘delaying the election’, or whatever, I look forward to more comedy gold as they try to simultaneously claim they are Absolute Defends Of The Constitution Against Them Fascist Libs *and* try to override the constitutional determination of when terms end and who gets to be president afterwards.

    The 20th Amendment is extremely explicit about the term ending – period. There’s no qualification on ‘unless someone declares an emergency’. The Presidential Succession Act is also remarkably clear. The Speaker of the House is the next in line if no President or Vice President shall have been elected or qualify.

    Not saying it can’t happen; but it’d be remarkable entertainment if they try.

  9. As my husband said, “Getting did the f Trump will almost make it worthwhile.”

  10. for some real life sanity,and what the euros are finding about the covid,check DW.com
    theres recent articles about the sepsis and other reactions,plus what and how they see the need for community outreach,from everyone..imagine that…taiwans on the ball has only 50 cases because they reacted in time,to help stop the spread,plus its research is ahead of the game..plus,ongoing pieces of news,beyond dr dumps kill the weak ones first,rhetoric.. as wolfman jack said,if im lying in dying!!!
    ive decided to do my seasonal unemployment stuff,first time since 1978.. the highways are safe again,,,my consruction season starts late may..hopefully dr dump will shake hands with his cruiseship investors and take a long awaited departure..best wishes,washdapaws..wave the peace sign, instead of a handshake..lets make a plan to rid our nation of unwanted trash!

  11. for some real life sanity,and what the euros are finding about the covid,check DW.com
    theres recent articles about the sepsis and other reactions,plus what and how they see the need for community outreach,from everyone..imagine that…taiwans on the ball has only 50 cases because they reacted in time,to help stop the spread,plus its research is ahead of the game..plus,ongoing pieces of news,beyond dr dumps kill the weak ones first,rhetoric.. as wolfman jack said,if im lying in dying!!!
    ive decided to do my seasonal unemployment stuff,first time since 1978.. the highways are safe again,,,my consruction season starts late may..hopefully dr dump will shake hands with his cruiseship investors and take a long awaited departure..best wishes,washdapaws..wave the peace sign, instead of a handshake..lets make a plan to rid our nation of unwanted trash!

  12. If you would ask anyone who knows me I am always looking for and producing pretty good snark about any and all human irony. However, I will say that now I’m closer to the cry mode.
    No country has gotten it 100% right, but our leaders have put us on the historical map of horribly wrong.
    And in my deep down well (beyond an ocean of all that cynicism), there still exists a tiny sliver of hope that we can pull together and get things right.
    That hope is bolstered by all those truly altruistic humans out there like Dr. David Ho, who discovered the way to kick aids butt and has chosen to try to at least cripple this virus until a vaccine can be rolled out. Also others like him for the most part quietly and desperately working toward helping us kick other killer disease’s butts. For more about Dr. Ho, here’s a link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Ho.
    Maybe we’re learning a huge lesson about the way we hand over too much power to one person. We all need each other now more than ever because not only are we fighting to stay alive we are fighting to stay free. Peace to all of you.

  13. It’s too bad that what used to be called parlor games are out of favor replaced by our continuous exposure to drivel packaged as entertainment. A great one would be suggesting real or fictional characters even less qualified to be President than Donald Trump. Even considering that there probably aren’t many real live people who are, opening up the conversation to fictional characters would keep it lively.

  14. Tragedy tomorrow, comedy comedy comedy comedy comedy tonight!

    Ideas, does anyone have any ideas, we have a state of emergency, this will allow Dr. Fester J Trump to control the narrative, including test results and how widespread this virus really is, it will take lawsuits to find out, and maybe not even then!

    Dr. Fester J Trump and his alter ego Maj. Trump J Kong because we all know major outranks a general, LOL, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snTaSJk0n_Y

    Approvingly nod at Nero J Trump, on his musical prowess, the conversations in his very stable genius mind must be one for the ages, and let’s not forget all the other incarnations, like, Donald Jesus Trump, Donald Gandhi Trump, Donald Puff Daddy Trump, and Donald “one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” Trump!

    With all of that crowd living in his head, can see why he is such a genius, it’s all covered, who needs advisors, he just consults with himself! I don’t understand why anyone disputes his abilities, he’s managed to do what enemies since 1776 have been unable to do, destroy this country! I guess there’s a lot to be said for all of that Sybilesque intellect, it really is Trumpnotizing!

  15. From the Guardian:
    He fingered the microphone and put his lips up close. He shook hands with everyone he could. Donald Trump, who promised you’re going to win so much you’ll get sick of winning, might also just make you sick.

    In the White House rose garden on Friday, the US president defied the advice of medical experts standing behind him and behaved like a one-man coronavirus cannon.

    The wartime president Harry Truman used to keep a sign on his desk that said: “The buck stops here.” Trump, however, seems eager to wash his hands of the matter, if not actually wash his hands. “Yeah, no, I don’t take responsibility at all, because we were given a set of circumstances and we were given rules, regulations, and specifications from a different time,” he said. “It wasn’t meant for this kind of an event with the kind of numbers that we’re talking about.”
    ==========================================================

    At least from what I read on Face Book my MAGA Hat “friends” are convinced the Mueller Report, the Impeachment Hearings and now the Corona Virus are all plots by the Deep State to remove The Trumpet. The Deep State was plotting to remove The Trumpet since Hillary suffered her epic defeat.

    The Press Conference was one convoluted statement after another. I read some comments about why The Trumpet’s Staff are not putting up “guard rails” concerning his ramblings. They cannot correct him or they will be purged. Pastor Pence is perfect – an empty suit who stands behind The Trumpet with an expressionless face like some kind of robotic life form.

  16. Yes. Comedy and humor. Thing is, the Trump era is just too easy to make fun of and real, creative humor must come from mocking the horrors, Constitutional trashing and outright lying of the president and his pathetic acolytes.

    Did you see where Bill Maher gave your beloved Mike Pence the Ass-kisser of the Month award? Pence’s butt-smooching yesterday was worthy of the Toady Hall of Fame.

    Then there is shopping… Early this morning I went to our favorite supermarket at 6:30 and found it packed with wide-eyed toilet paper seekers. It looked like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. But, alas, there is not a single square of toilet paper to be found in all of Denver’s stores. Perhaps the hoarders have finally discovered, via the fear-mongering about COVID-19, what their real problem is and are stocking up for the full (pun intended) realization of that problem. One is forced to wonder if the sale and installation of bidets is spiking.

    Trump avoids science, because his very existence shows one of the flaws in the laws of evolution: All humans are not products of natural, or in his case unnatural, selection. Trump represents a flaw in his family’s genetic history. He simply cannot face that truth. For the same reason the TP hoarders are scurrying pillar to post trying to solve their self-realized problem, Trump should have been assigned to selling commodes and bidets at Sears. THAT would be a perfect fit in any analysis one would choose.

  17. Trump will leave the Oval Office on schedule, and no army or militia will be involved. The Secret Service as of noon on that January day will only have post-presidential safety (and not presidential refusal to leave) to protect, so if he should want to stay, it will be federal marshals who will physically remove him from the home and office we taxpayers have provided him for the last four years (when he is not in Florida playing golf). I would expect even Republicans to agree to such removal since they do not want such a precedent to be established for future presidents, a hallmark of the mark of a dictator, and one they would have to deal with in the future should they (I hope not) elect a president. I predict an orderly transfer of power and personnel per that is set forth in the Constitution.

  18. We have and need a two party system. One of the goals of blue no matter who has to be the complete destruction of the organization that hijacked the Republican name such that there’s no hope for recovery. I think in the therapy world that would be called an intervention. It’s necessary to close all means of escape and force a confrontation with truth and reality.

    The hope would be to force them to abandon dysfunction and return to the reality of the world that’s bearing down on us so they can resume their formerly helpful place in political debate.

  19. Vernon, concerning the shortage of toilet paper, I had the amusing thought of people lined up like we did during the “gas crisis” of 1973 in stores, limited amounts available per person.

    My daughter here in the Indianapolis area witnessed a fist fight between two woman in one of our Mega-Stores over napkins.

    What next semi-trucks being hi-jacked for toilet paper and napkins??? Shady characters putting aside their knock off Rolex Watches and selling toilet paper out of van???

    As usual with The Trumpet it is always someone else’s fault.

  20. ML,

    Very good summary. The facts associated with supply under a rapidly changing demand environment requires that the min/max and Just-in-Time algorithms require tweaking now. It will take a couple weeks for added deliveries, more trucks and hiring/training more personnel to make a difference. Meanwhile, we could just take the National Enquirer and other such wastes of paper, and put them on a perforated roll….where they’ve always belonged.

  21. Gerald,
    There are many scenarios, but, if martial law is declared, then that will not happen, neither will the elections!

  22. John – Illegal orders by a president, even atomic orders, or orders otherwise legal but given with corrupt intent, need not be followed, and in any event an incoming president could easily reverse such orders on the appointed day. I’m sticking with my analysis.

  23. John Sorg – love the song reference

    Gerald Stinson – I couldn’t agree more, except we taxpayers are actually paying extra when he is in Florida playing golf.

    I grew up in the era of Tom Lehrer. I was sad when he retired because “political satire has become redundant” – either “since Nixon was elected President” or “since Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for bombing Cambodia”. I heard both reasons stated. It is great that the likes of Randy Rainbow are carrying on the tradition.

    I love fantasy, but there seem to be several fantasies going on now that bother me:
    The fantasy that Trump is the greatest (fill in the blank) ever;
    The fantasy that the popular revolution is coming and if Bernie is elected “the people” will force congress to pass his agenda;
    The fantasy that the military will support a Trump coup and/or that these “highly trained” militias are more than little boys playing soldier (yes, even a little boy with an AR15 is dangerous).
    The last of these assumes a competent Trump administration planning and executing a coup. I don’t see much evidence of competence there.

    Hoarding is an irrational, but understandable reaction to an unknown pandemic – but hoarding toilet paper for a respiratory virus???
    A friend mentioned an incident where someone was presented with a bouquet – several rolls of toilet paper arranges on a branched stick wrapped in ribbons. She said she wanted that for her birthday along with a bottle of hand sanitizer. What a world we live in.

    One final aside – I heard an advertisement for the upcoming debate between Biden and Sanders. When I first heard the announcement, I thought it was for another HBO boxing match. Maybe the networks are convinced that they weren’t doing enough to turn serious news into entertainment.

  24. Gerald
    i wonder if,mcconnels still standing after november,and the republicans still majority,IF, trump is unloaded,will try,and have the senate protect trumps office.. and like i mentioned, the supreme court will have to intervene? i would like to believe the u.s. marshall service would press the issue,and or, the military,would intervene…just the thought,and ill be thinking about it,at the next,mass mob, innaugeration of the next,demo president..in november 2020..

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