Sometimes, you have to laugh or you’ll cry….
Let me begin this post with some confessions: I love science fiction. I’ve read tons of it since I was a child. I’m a huge Star Trek fan, currently fixated on “Strange New Worlds.” My scientific knowledge is admittedly limited, but the odds have convinced me that humans cannot be alone in the universe–it’s really inconceivable that only one planet among billions has generated (semi) intelligent life.
But really, idiot Congress-critters!
The aliens have landed. And they have a gavel!
That is as plausible a takeaway as any from this week’s House Oversight Committee hearing on unidentified anomalous phenomena, the curiosity formerly known as UFOs. The panel’s national security subcommittee brought in, as its star witness, one David Grusch, a former Defense Department intelligence official who now claims:
That there are “quite a number” of “nonhuman” space vehicles in the possession of the U.S. government.
That one “partially intact vehicle” was retrieved from Italian dictator Benito Mussolini in 1933 by the United States, acting on a tip from Pope Pius XII.
That the aliens have engaged in “malevolent activity” and “malevolent events” on Earth that have harmed or killed humans.
That the U.S. government is also in possession of “dead pilots” from the spaceships.
That a private defense contractor is storing one of the alien ships, which have been as large as a football field.
That the vehicles might be coming “from a higher dimensional physical space that might be co-located right here.”
That the Roswell, N.M., alien landing was real, and the Air Force’s debunking of it was a “total hack job.”
And that the United States has engaged in a nearly century-long “sophisticated disinformation campaign” (apparently including murders to silence people) to hide the truth.
I’d tell you more, but then they would have to kill me.
I actually have a more plausible theory: there are aliens among us, and they are currently serving as Republican Right-wingers in the U.S. House of Representatives. (I mean, really, who thinks that Marjorie Taylor Green and the other loonies currently preventing anything remotely resembling governance are sentient members of the human race? Unlikely, I tell you!! They’re here to effectuate the paralysis of Earth’s governments–and they’re doing a pretty good job of it!)
Although the star witness in this hearing was unable to provide any evidence whatever to support his claims, Milbank noted that several Republicans on the panel greeted those claims with “total credulity, using them as just more evidence that the deep-state U.S. government is lying to the American people, covering up the truth and can never be trusted. Their anti-government vendetta has gone intergalactic.”
I’d almost like to believe that the U.S. has a government capable of pulling off a cover-up of this magnitude. Think about the thousands of people who would have had to be sworn to silence and the fact that their compliance would need to be closely monitored over decades…It’s a theory right up there with Robert N. Kennedy, Jr.’s insistence that the entire medical establishment must be “in on” the “truth” about those nefarious vaccines.
I love science fiction, but I’m getting pretty tired of following the clearly alien MAGA life-forms controlling today’s GOP.
Maybe I should just use my Space Laser to wipe them out…..